Capturing Photos While God's Capturing My Heart

              As I am growing in my photography, I am learning more advanced skills and different software to use to edit and enhance my photos.       Until recently, I only used Lightroom.  It is so simple, so drama-free, stress-free, and self explanatory.  Such like the life I long to lead.  However, not always so simple.  Anyway, in efforts to grow as a Professional Photographer and increase my clientele and areas of photography, I have been spending a lot of time in Photoshop.  To be honest, I expected to open it up on my computer and just take off!  Insert a photo, click, click, crop, adjust my exposure, add a little sharpness and save!  I couldn't have been any further from disappointed.  As a matter of fact, when I opened PS for the first time, I was just in awe.... I didn't know where to start!  I was looking for the import button - it didn't exist!  The option was Open instead.  Duh! I should have know, right?
     In recent months since we moved, I haven't spent as much time with God, nor have I given him much of my attention. Prayers that used to happen daily in my car, slowly dwindled away.  Daily Bible study, became non-existent.  Life got ahead of me, and as I backed away from God, my Lightroom lifestyle, became a Photoshop lifestyle. 
      My eyes had been on God, despite my not working, and every month, knowing there was more month at the end of the money, there was some miracle happening every month that gave us the money we needed to pay all of our bills, to meet all of our needs, and still have some left.  That was the Lightroom lifestyle.  My life was the picture, and no matter how complicated it may have been, God was my way of editing it or fixing it.  
      When we moved, I quickly went back to work, anxious to bring in more income again, longing for the independence and confidence I myself had as a working woman.  The sense of "my husband can't tell me what to do or how I'm going to spend money" was what made me a good wife and woman.  I had power.  Yet, as quickly as my power returned, my life fell apart.  The photoshop lifestyle that I can't even begin to explain, swarmed in and attacked me. Left me in awe. Left me in tears.  I was tired and rundown.  I didn't know where to start.  When I started back working, we had extra expenses we weren't prepared for financially, just so I could have my confidence back, and it left us financially hurting.  Where is my power now?  
            God used the passion I have for photography to teach me a valuable lesson.  And his message was so perfectly taught with something in front of my face (Lightroom and Photoshop) therefore I couldn't miss the message.  He told me, I could have that Lightroom Life, if I would use him to edit and enhance my life.  But I had been choosing the Photoshop life trying to do it on my own, and I was tired, broken, and lost.  
    How did he use something so important to me, to speak about how important I am to him.  I had been so run down, I lost my passion for God. I loved him, but I wasn't passionate about Him. I was giving Him my attention.  I wasn't focusing on Him, and I wasn't trusting Him to fix and edit my problems.
    Just as I want, worry, and stay up late practicing taking photos and editing them, God expects me to want Him. He wants me to stay up seeking Him.  
    I was reminded of Psalm 37:4, Delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of your heart.  

    My desires: a peaceful life, a successful photography business, rest and to be stress free.  God showed me my focus was off and my picture was blurry.  God must be a photographer too. :)